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                   Care To Have A Piss Of A Drink With Me?

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I begin this issue with humor instead of at the end. Since the article
was written with the same wit I most often embrace, rather than rewriting,
I quote it.
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|                                                                         |
|                  WELCOME TO YOUR NEW VENDING MACHINE...                 |
|                                                                         |
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|                                                                         |
| Does your Pepsi lack pep? Is your Coke not the real thing? India's      |
| Hindu nationalist movement apparently has the answer: a new soft drink  |
| made from cow urine.                                                    |
|                                                                         |
| The bovine brew is in the final stages of development by the Cow        |
| Protection Department of the Rashtriya Swayamsevak Sangh (RSS), India's |
| biggest and oldest Hindu nationalist group, according to the man who    |
| makes it.                                                               |
|                                                                         |
| Om Prakash, the head of the department, said the drink – called "gau    |
| jal", or "cow water" – in Sanskrit was undergoing laboratory tests and  |
| would be launched "very soon, maybe by the end of this year". "Don't    |
| worry, it won't smell like urine and will be tasty too," he told The    |
| Times from his headquarters in Hardwar, one of four holy cities on the  |
| River Ganges. "Its USP will be that it's going to be very healthy. It   |
| won't be like carbonated drinks and would be devoid of any toxins."     |
|                                                                         |
| The drink is the latest attempt by the RSS – which was founded in 1925  |
| and now claims eight million members – to cleanse India of foreign      |
| influence and promote its ideology of Hindutva, or Hindu-ness. Hindus   |
| revere cows and slaughtering them is illegal in most of India. Cow dung |
| is traditionally used as a fuel and disinfectant in villages, while cow |
| urine and dung are often consumed in rituals to "purify" those on the   |
| bottom rungs of the Hindu caste system.                                 |
|                                                                         |
| In 2001, the RSS and its offshoots – which include the opposition       |
| Bharatiya Janata Party – began promoting cow urine as a cure for        |
| ailments ranging from liver disease to obesity and even cancer.         |
|                                                                         |
| The movement has often been accused of using more violent methods, such |
| as killing 67 Christians in the eastern state of Orissa last year, and  |
| assaulting women in a pub in Mangalore last month. It also has a        |
| history of targeting foreign business in India, as in 1994, when it     |
| organised a nationwide boycott of multinational consumer goods,         |
| including Pepsi and Coca Cola.                                          |
|                                                                         |
| The cola brands are popular in India, now one of their biggest markets, |
| but have struggled in recent years to shake off allegations, which they |
| deny, that they contain dangerous levels of pesticide.                  |
|                                                                         |
| Mr Prakash said his drink, by contrast, was made mainly of cow urine,   |
| mixed with a few medicinal and ayurvedic herbs. He said it would be     |
| "cheap", but declined to give further details about its price or        |
| ingredients until it was officially launched. He insisted, however,     |
| that it would be able to compete with the American cola brands, even    |
| with their enormous advertising budgets. "We're going to give them good |
| competition as our drink is good for mankind," he said. "We may also    |
| think of exporting it."                                                 |
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                                                         Jeremy Page, Delhi

Those readers who may be a bit squeamish about drinking cow urine should
consider that urine is nothing other than blood serum with some ammonia
added. Kidneys produce ammonia to separate red and white blood cells
from blood serum so we do not become anemic whenever we urinate. In
healthy animals like revered cows in India, urine is rich in proteins,
fats, vitamins, minerals and enzymes. In India, where there are many
vegetarians, they drink urine to recycle and supplement proteins. Since
all soft drinks are presently chemicals only, cow urine drink sounds
very nutritious.